


The Meaning of a Memory

by DatHeetJoella



Category: Death Parade (Anime), Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Death Parade, Angst, Crossover but you'll still be able to read it if you haven't seen Death Parade, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, MakoHaru AU Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 00:36:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4726172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DatHeetJoella/pseuds/DatHeetJoella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto and Haruka arrive at a strange venue, but neither of them can seem to remember how they got there.</p><p>Death Parade x Free! crossover. Written for the MakoHaru AU week.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Meaning of a Memory

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write this fic for a while now but I never really got the motivation to do so. Then I saw the announcement of the MakoHaru AU week and thought: ''Perfect!''
> 
> As I metioned before, you don't necessarily need to have seen Death Parade in order to read/understand this fic. But if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend you do so, because it's truly amazing. That being said, I have never written any non-Free! characters before, so I'm sorry if I screwed up. 
> 
> And though this is a crossover, it's mainly just Makoto and Haruka in Death Parade.
> 
> Other than that, I hope you'll enjoy this fic!

The doors of the elevator slid open. Haruka stepped out of it, looking bewilderdly around himself, when he saw Makoto coming out of another elevator to his left, looking just as lost as he felt.

''Makoto.''

''Haru!'' Makoto called when he noticed him, closing the distance between them.

''This... Where are we?''

''I don't know,'' Makoto replied, taking another look around themselves. ''I could swear we were at the beach with Rei and Nagisa just a minute ago.''

Haruka could remember that much as well. After Gou had found a bunch of old posters in the clubroom about a "training camp from hell" that was supposedly an old regimen of the former Iwatobi Swim Club, she insisted that they, too, must hold a training camp at the mentioned 'deserted' islands. Everyone had been really excited about going - and with everyone, he meant Nagisa and Gou, the rest of them were just dragged along with it - and so they set sail and went to one of the islands. They had arrived that morning, and they had spent the entire day swimming back and forth between the islands, but after that everything was blank.

''How did we get here?'' Makoto continued. ''I can't remember a thing!''

''Me neither.''

Makoto averted his eyes. There was a dimly lit hall in front of them, the only way to go besides the two elevators behind them. If they wanted to find out what was going on, the most reasonable thing to do was to follow that path. He glanced back at Haruka, silently asking him for his opinion. When Haruka nodded, they both walked forward, leaving the elevators behind them.

Soon enough, they had to turn left, as the rest of the hall ended. At the end of the hall, they saw what looked like a bar. There was a counter with a couple of stools in front of it. Behind the counter stood a man and a woman. The man had white hair that hung in front of his right eye like a curtain, the woman had black hair with a single white strand on the right side of her bangs. Behind the man was some sort of stained glass, on either side next to it were rows of bottles, that were presumably filled with liquor.

They slowly got closer to the bar, and the people bowed to them.

''Please, come in,'' the man said. ''Welcome to Quindecim.''

Makoto and Haruka walked closer to the bar. Perhaps these people could tell them where exactly they were. They stopped a few meter away from the bar, when the man continued.

''Allow us to formally greet you. I am your bartender, Decim,'' the man, Decim, told them. The woman didn't introduce herself.

''Um, hello-'' Makoto couldn't say more before the man spoke again.

''Now then, please excuse my abruptness, but I must ask you a question. Do you remember anything that happened just before your arrival?''

''No, we don't,'' Makoto uttered. ''We were at the beach with our friends, but we can't remember anything after that.''

''Very good. Thank you very much.''

''Um, could you please tell us where we are?''

''Allow me to explain your circumstances. I ask that you please pay close attention.''

Makoto wanted to respond, but then, the woman suddenly spoke, as she held up one finger.

''First:'' she said, then she lowered her hand.

''First of all, I cannot answer the question of where you are,'' Decim started.

''Second:'' The woman raised her hand again, now holding up two fingers.

''We will now have you two play a game.''

Makoto and Haruka shared a look of confusion. ''A game?'' Makoto voiced both of their thoughts.

''Third:'' The woman ignored Makoto's question, continuing with their explanation with three raised fingers.

''We will have you chose the type of game by roulette.'' As Decim said this, a board shot down behind him, startling both Makoto and Haruka. Instinctively, Makoto held a shielding arm in front of Haruka. The board, or, the roulette, hung from the ceiling, and was devided in nine parts.

''Fourth:'' She kept adding fingers as she counted.

''We will have you stake your lives on this game.''

''W-Wait! Our lives?!''

''Fifth:''

''Until the game is over, you cannot leave this bar.''

''Wait, hold on a second! What do you mean 'stake your lives'?''

''I cannot answer that.''

''Makoto,'' Haruka said as he turned around, walking away from the bar. ''Let's go.''

''Ah, Haru, wait up!'' Makoto yelped as he quickly followed behind his friend.

Haruka headed back towards the elevators, not intending to stay inside here for longer than necessary. Why would he waste his time in this weird bar when he could be at the beach, swimming in the ocean, instead? He pushed the buttons of the elevator and he waited, but nothing happened.

''It's not coming,'' Makoto remarked. ''Well, the bartender did say that we couldn't leave until we play the game.''

Haruka sighed, flaring his nostrils in annoyance. Great. Just great. One moment you're peacefully swimming, carving an opening in the sparkling blue water before sliding your body through it, and the next moment you're stuck in some kind of bar with a vague bartender and a mysterious woman who try to force you to play a 'game'. To say he wasn't amused was an understatement.

''Want to look around some more?'' Makoto suggested. ''Maybe there's another exit somewhere.''

''Alright.'' It wasn't like they had any other option, so for now all they could do was explore this creepy building and hope that there was another way to get out of here.

 

''Look,'' Makoto said once they were back at the bar. Their attempt at finding another exit had been futile; every other door they had encountered was either locked or lead to a different room without an exit. ''We're really not interested in playing a game. We're sorry, but we just want to go back to our friends now. So, can't you just... let us go?'' he tried to negotiate.

''I am afraid I cannot do that. You cannot leave this bar until you play the game.'' Decim's face was expressionless as he spoke, his eyes empty. Those who said Haruka had a deadpanned look had clearly never met this man, Makoto thought.

''Yes, you mentioned that, but-''

''Makoto.''

He turned around at the sound of his name, and he saw a look of determination on Haruka's face. Yet, behind that façade, he could detect a feeling of unease, of uncertainty.

''We don't have a choice.''

Though Haruka's face didn't show it, his oceanic eyes betrayed his true feelings. Makoto could read the fear inside of them, the anxiety that kept his being in a tight hold, and Makoto understood; he felt the same. It was an odd situation, a dangerous one at that. They were trapped in a strange place, and these people could be sociopaths for all they knew. God knows what this game they spoke of was. It wasn't the most comfortable situation one could imagine, so it was pretty reasonable to be scared, and they were. But Haruka was right; they didn't have a choice. If they wanted to leave this place - which they did - then they'd have to play along.

He nodded at Haruka, telling him that he was right, and that he understood, before he turned back to Decim and the woman.

''If we play your game, we'll be able to leave this place, right?''

''Yes. After the game is over, you will be able to leave this bar.''

After a giving Haruka a last hesitant look, Makoto made up his mind.

''Okay,'' he said, ''then we'll play.''

''If you will press this button for me,'' the black-haired woman said as she put a little grey box with a red button on top of the counter, ''the roulette will start.''

Makoto tentatively reached out his slightly quivering hand, hesitant to press the button even though he knew he had to. His large palm enveloped the button and he pushed it down, making the roulette behind Decim start. Decim took a step aside and they all waited in anticipation as the light flickered from one tile to the next.

Makoto was growing more and more nervous every time another tile lit up on the board. What kind of game could they be expecting? What if this was like those horror movies Nagisa made them watch once? Those where people suddenly wake up in a weird room and are forced to play torturous games to save their own lives by that scary puppet-face. Makoto hadn't seen much of the movies, as his face had been buried in Haruka's shoulder for the majority of them, but he could remember the screams of the people who were subjected to the death traps, though they were masked by Nagisa's maniacal laughter.

Oh God, what was he going to do? How were they going to survive this? Were they really able to go home after this? What if they were allowed to leave after the game was over, but aren't physically capable of leaving? But most importantly, what about Haruka? He was Makoto's first priority, but how was he going to protect him? Would he be able to keep him safe from these psychopaths?

He needed to calm down. If he wanted to protect Haruka, then he needed to be calm, collected, and focused. He couldn't afford to lose control right now. Their lives were on the line; _Haruka's_ life was on the line, and he couldn't mess up. He would never forgive himself if Haruka's life was endangered because _he_ made a mistake, because _he_ messed up.

As Makoto continued to freak out, the roulette slowed down. Both Haruka and Makoto waited in both curiosity and fear what their game was going to be.

The roulette stopped on the bottom right corner, a triumphantic tune chimed as the tile flipped over and the word written on it revealed the game.

' _Bowling_.'

Both Haruka and Makoto frowned and spoke in surprise. ''Bowling?''

As they said this, they could hear a lot of noise coming from their left, making them both jump back, Makoto gripping Haruka's shoulders. Smoke was rapidly appearing as the noise continued, and area next to the bar was being rebuilt. When all of the smoke had disappeared and they could see properly again, they saw that beside the bar was now a small bowling area with one single lane.

Decim and the black-haired woman walked over to the newly shaped bowling alley, and Makoto and Haruka couldn't do anything but follow them.

The both of them were perplexed by the selected game, as they had expected something a little different; something more... dangerous? Bowling seemed harmless enough, especially if you considered the 'stake your lives' part. But it was too early to drop their guards; they didn't know if there might be something behind the seemingly innocent game.

''The rules are mostly the same as in regular bowling,'' the woman announced when they were standing in front of the make-shift bowling lane. ''You will only get to bowl one ball per frame. You will take turns bowling until the game is over, and whoever knocks over the most total pins will be the winner.''

Two bowling balls rolled out of the ball return unit, a red one and a blue one. Both of the balls were made of see-through material, and a weird shape could be seen inside of them. A shape that suspiciously resembled the human heart.

''However,'' the woman continued, ''the balls you will use are already selected, and we will have you use these balls, which have representations of each of your hearts inside of them.''

''Huh? Our hearts?''

''You will bowl with his heart,'' the woman told Makoto, ignoring his previous exclamation, and she pointed at the blue ball. ''And we will have you bowl with his heart,'' she said to Haruka whilst motioning to the red ball.

''Each of your pulses is linked to your respective ball. Inside of them, it's the same temperature as your bodies,'' Decim added.

''Ehh? B-But how?''

''Please rest at ease; you will not actually feel any pain,'' he dodged Makoto's question.

''Do we _have_ to use these balls?'' Haruka asked.

''That is the rule. Very well, then. Let's begin the game.''

Decim and the woman walked off to the side, leaving Haruka and Makoto by themselves in front of the lane.

''Do you want to go first, Haru?''

''It's fine, you start.''

''Alright.''

Makoto walked over to the ball return unit and put his fingers in the holes of the blue ball. He flinched a little when he felt the heat, the pounding of Haruka's heart against his fingertips, but he recovered quickly enough, as this was nothing he wasn't familiar with. After all these years of knowing Haruka, of being together with him all the time, Makoto had become familiar with the warmth of his body, with his steady heartbeat. He lifted the ball, his other hand coming up to support it, and he felt his own erratically thumping heart slowing down, as if it was trying to monopolise with the rhythmic beating he felt against his fingers.

He took a deep breath, and within a few seconds he had calmed down like he previously intended to do. It was funny, how just the feeling of Haruka's warmth around his fingers, how just the knowledge that Haruka was there with him managed to do what he hadn't been able to do on his own. Though all of this was so wrong, and he was afraid of the unknown things that probably awaited them, this kind of excited him as well; it had been a while since Haruka and he had played together like this. Nowadays they only played video games together, and they never engaged in any sort of physical activity besides swimming and the occasional jog. It's not that he didn't enjoy those things or didn't appreciate them, quite the contrary; he was glad they were finally able to swim together again, just like they used to, but he did think this was a nice change for once. Perhaps they could even enjoy this game, despite the circumstances. It all seemed harmless enough.

He turned back to his friend, closing his eyes and tilting his head slightly to the right, and he smiled as he held up the blue bowling ball. ''Well then, Haru,'' he said as he slowly opened his eyes until they were half-lidded, ''may the best player win.''

Haruka knew that smile. It wasn't like Makoto's usual smiles. Those were sweet, kind, and gentle, yet this one was playful, teasing, and mischievous. It was more like a smirk, really. Most people didn't know this side of Makoto; the competitive side he would get whilst playing games like this. But Haruka knew, as he experienced it more often than just every once in a while. His shoulders slumped as he exhaled, relieved that Makoto seemed a bit better than he had just a couple of minutes ago, and he couldn't suppress a tiny smile in response to Makoto's playfulness.

''Bring it on, Makoto.''

Makoto turned around and walked closer to the lane, and Haruka plopped down on the bench that stood behind the scoreboard. When Makoto was standing in front of the lane, he swung his arm back and forth and released the ball. The ball rolled over the smooth surface of the lane swiftly, knocking over several pins in the process. The scoreboard in front of Haruka adjusted to this change immediately, and a '7' appeared in the first checkbox after 'Player One'.

Satisfied with his first turn, Makoto turned and walked back towards the bench, sitting down next to Haruka.

''Your turn.''

Haruka snorted a little, and got up. He rolled the red ball around in the return unit, and he stuck his fingers inside of it, only to immediately pull them out again. Even though he knew what to expect, he hadn't really been prepared for the actual feeling. He gritted his teeth and tried again, now forcing himself to pick up the ball. It felt so strange, yet at the same time, it didn't. It was so warm inside of the ball, just like Makoto's hands. Makoto's hands were always warm, whether they were pulling him from his bathtub like he did every morning, or helping him out of the pool after having swum in the cold water himself mere seconds ago. Haruka would never admit it, but he really loved the feeling of those warm palms in his.

He shook his head slightly, as if he was trying to rid his mind from the stupid thoughts that were coursing through it. He held the ball in front of his chest and he inhaled, air filling up his lungs as he bent over a little to throw the ball with as much precision as possible. Though all of his movements were nothing but graceful, the ball rolled over the lane a bit unsteadily. Fortunately for him, it still made five of the pins fall over.

''Not bad, Haru-chan,'' Makoto praised as he headed over to grab his bowling ball, before he teasingly added, ''but not good enough.''

''Drop the '-chan','' Haruka replied, out of sheer habit rather than real annoyance.

Makoto took the blue bowling ball out of the rack, this time without any trouble, and he went to take a stance, before sliding it over the lane in a powerful swing, sending all of the pins flying.

''Ah, a strike!'' Makoto exclaimed. ''Did you see that, Haru?''

Haruka nodded and he couldn't suppress a tiny smile at Makoto's enthusiasm, that made him look like a big child again for a second. He thought it was adorable, though he'd never tell Makoto that.

''I did,'' he said, and Makoto smiled at him, his green eyes full of euphoria, and it made his insides tingle pleasantly. He was glad Makoto wasn't holding the ball anymore, otherwise he would've picked up on the rising of his pulse.

Makoto sat back down and watched how Haruka got ready for his turn, all of his previous worries already forgotten. It was just so easy when he was with Haruka, forgetting about the world around them. It was just them; Makoto and Haruka, bowling together without the odd circumstances, without the potential dangers, without Decim and the black-haired woman supervising their game from a distance; just the two of them.

He sighed as he allowed himself to trail his eyes over his friend's body. Everyone always said how beautiful Haruka looked when he was swimming, but Haruka also looked beautiful when he was bowling. Haruka always looked beautiful. He averted his lingering gaze before Haruka had the chance to notice it. He knew he shouldn't be having these kinds of thoughts about his best friend, but he couldn't help it; he genuinely felt this way. In his eyes, Haruka was the most beautiful person on this planet, probably in this entire universe, both inside and out. He was perfect.

Makoto could feel his cheeks turn pink at all of his embarrassing thoughts, and he was reminded of the conversation he'd had with the twins the previous night.

 

_Makoto was standing inside of his room, his duffel bag resting on top of his bed as he was finishing packing for the training camp they would go on tomorrow. Ran and Ren were both sitting on either side of the bag, keeping him company with their incoherent ramblings._

_Then, they were suddenly quiet, and when Makoto looked up in surprise at their silence, he saw them nodding at each other before they turned back to him._

_''Hey, Onii-chan?'' Ran asked to gather Makoto's attention, her voice dripping with honey._

_''What is it, Ran?'' Makoto questioned in return and he continued packing, pretending that he didn't notice the quick little exchange of his siblings._

_''When are you going to tell him?'' she continued with the same sweet tone._

_Makoto quit packing to look up at his little sister in confusion. ''When am I going to tell who what?''_

_''Haru-chan!'' Ren chimed in, not able to contain himself._

_This only confused Makoto further. ''What am I supposed to tell him?''_

_''That you like him!'' Ran exclaimed rather loudly, making the face of her older brother heat up in mere seconds with her words._

_''Ehh?! What-What are you talking about- I mean, of course I like him, he's my best friend...'' Makoto tried to play it off, but the twins weren't having any of it._

_''No, Onii-chan! That you_ like _like him!''_

_''W-What are you- I d-don't know what you're talking about...''_

_The twins were right. Of course they were right. Makoto had been in love with his best friend for pretty much as long as he could remember. But he didn't think he was obvious enough for anyone to notice, let alone his little siblings._

_''You know,'' Ren interrupted his thoughts, ''you're a really bad liar. Did you know that, Onii-chan?''_

_Ren sounded so serious that Makoto couldn't help but burst into laughter. He picked his little brother off the bed and sat down himself, setting Ren down in his lap._

_''So you noticed, huh? Was I_ that _obvious?''_

_''Yep,'' the twins agreed._

_Makoto groaned a little, making both Ren and Ran giggle a little._

_''And here I thought I was being subtle,'' Makoto joked as he pulled Ren closer to himself, making sure he couldn't slide off._

_''You're not subtle at all, Onii-chan,'' Ran thought, before she added, ''Have you ever seen the way you look at Haru-chan?'' To emphasize her words she shot Makoto a look, which made Ren laugh even harder._

_''It's that bad?'' Makoto asked with a small voice._

_''No,'' Ren muttered._

_''It's even worse than that,'' Ran said._

_When Makoto looked down at his little brother for confirmation he only received a nod of agreement._

_Makoto lifted his hand to his face - the one that wasn't supporting Ren - and he groaned again._

_''So, when are you going to tell him?'' Ran inquired, back onto their initial question._

_''I don't know. I mean, he doesn't even feel the same way, so I-''_

_''Yes, he does!'' she interrupted. ''Have you ever seen the way he looks at you?'' She shot her older brother another look, a bit different from the first yet as infatuated._

_''It's that bad?'' Makoto asked again, now with a twinge of hope in his voice._

_''No,'' Ren repeated._

_''It's even worse than that!'' both Ran and Ren excitedly echoed, their words a little too loud for this time of the day._

_''Shh!'' Makoto tried to sush his siblings with a finger against his lips. ''A little more quiet please!''_

_''You should tell him,'' Ren thought._

_''Yeah, tomorrow, on the beach!'' Ran filled in._

_''Yeah!''_

_''W-What?''_

_''The sun will be setting, and you'll take a walk along the water. Then, you stop and take his hand, and pull him closer to you. And you say:_ Haru-chan, I like you. Be mine! _'' Ran finished with a deep voice._

 _''And then Haru-chan will say:_ Yes, Onii-chan! I've always liked you! _'' Ren added, mimicking the voice his sister made._

_''Woah, okay! I don't know what kind of movies you two have been watching, but I think it's time for you to go to bed!'' Makoto exclaimed embarrassedly, his cheeks flushing at his siblings' words._

_''Haru-chan wouldn't call Onii-chan 'Onii-chan', Ren!'' Ran lectured, completely ignoring Makoto's statement._

_''Oh, right.''_

_''Right, now it's time for bed.''_

_''Aw, but Onii-chan-'' Ren and Ran complained._

_''No 'buts'! Come on, go brush your teeth.''_

_''Mmph, okay.''_

_As soon as the twins left the room, Makoto let out a big sigh and lied down on his bed. They're going to be the death of me, he thought, and he waited for his flushed cheeks to cool before the twins would inevitably come back to demand a bedtime story._

''Makoto. Makoto.''

Makoto looked up and he saw Haruka standing in front of him.

''Are you okay?''

''Hmm? Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine,'' Makoto said as he got up, realising he'd been spacing out and it was his turn again. ''I just had to think about the talk I had with the twins last night.''

Hearing the tone of dismissal in Makoto's voice, Haruka decided to not press any further, as he didn't think much about it in the first place. Makoto stood in front of the return unit and he slapped his cheeks twice, reminding himself that he couldn't let his mind wander, otherwise he'd probably embarrass himself even further. He took a deep breath before he picked up the blue ball, and he got ready to throw it.

 

They continued their game of bowling in relative silence, though it wasn't uncomfortable. The game was going pretty well for the both of them, though Makoto still had a small advantage. It was Haruka's turn again and he put his fingers inside the holes of the red ball. It still was a bit odd to feel Makoto's pulse directly against his fingers, beating so strongly it seemed as if he was holding his real heart. Though that thought should creep him out, it honestly didn't. If anything, it made his own heart beat a little faster.

He lifted the ball and walked closer to the lane, swinging his arm back to bowl it when he was suddenly hit with a memory, making him lose controle of his hand and the ball ended up in the gutter.

 

_It was the first day of their training camp and they had just finished eating dinner. They had only managed to complete about half of the regimen, but it wasn't really an issue as this was only the first day, according to Makoto. After eating pizza together with the team - his had been mackerel and pineapple - they all decided to retire for the night._

_''Then, Haru and I will be in this tent,'' Makoto said._

_''What? But I wanna sleep with Haru-chan!'' Nagisa whined in protest._

_''You don't want to be in a tent with me?'' Rei asked offendedly._

_''Well, you probably grind your teeth when you sleep.''_

_''I don't do that!''_

_''We can use amida to decide,'' Makoto tried to mediate, ever the mother hen._

_''I'm in!'' Nagisa yelled as he raised his fist in the air._

_''We can draw in the sand,'' Haruka himself offered._

_Either way, it hadn't mattered because Nagisa had gotten his way in the end, which annoyed Haruka a little. It's not that he didn't want to share a tent with Nagisa, but rather that he'd preferred to share a tent with Makoto. He was used to the way Makoto slept, after years of having sleepovers with him, and Nagisa had proven that he took up a lot of space when he was sleeping, as small as he was._

_Besides his worries of not having a peaceful night of rest, the fact that Makoto wasn't near him bothered him as well. It didn't have to do as much with the feelings he had for the other, but more the fact that they were still beside the ocean. Though Makoto insisted that he was fine, that he'd gotten over his fear, Haruka was still sceptical. Ever since that day he had vowed to protect Makoto, and that wasn't as easy if the other wasn't near, or at least, not as near as he could be._

_So now Haruka was a little grumpy and his mood didn't go unnoticed by Nagisa._

_''Haru-chan, you're sulking. Are you that disappointed?''_

_''I'm not sulking.''_

_''Yes, you are.''_

_''I'm_ not _,'' he insisted, even though he knew he was._

_''You know, Haru-chan,'' Nagisa said after a while, his tone completely different than it was before, ''I actually wanted to have a talk with you.''_

_The seriousness in Nagisa's voice surprised Haruka a little, his ears perking at his unexpected words, and he turned around to face Nagisa, silently telling him to continue._

_''How did you and Mako-chan get together?''_

_''What?''_

_''Like, how did you and Mako-chan start dating?''_

_''What are you talking about?''_

_''Ehh? You and Mako-chan are dating, right?'' Nagisa asked in confusion._

_''We're not.''_

_''Ehh?! Why not?''_

_Haruka only shrugged in response._

_''But you guys are totally in love with each other!''_

_''We aren't.''_

_''You guys totally are. You act like an old married couple most of the time.''_

_''We don't act like a married couple,'' Haruka protested, turning his face away in embarrassment._

_''There's no need to be in denial, Haru-chan. Mako-chan's always doting on you and you love it,'' Nagisa sang as he put his head on Haruka's shoulder, wiggling his eyebrows in a teasing and suggestive way._

_Haruka didn't respond. He knew Nagisa was right, at least about how he felt, but he wasn't about to admit it to him. One word to Nagisa and the whole town knew the next day. Usually he didn't really care about stuff like that, but he knew for sure that the one person that couldn't know would be the first to hear it. He didn't know how Makoto felt, and though he hoped Nagisa was right, he wasn't going to take the risk. He didn't want to ruin their friendship over something like this, he couldn't potentially lose him, and therefore he had always kept his mouth shut. And he sure as hell wasn't about to let Nagisa destroy all of that. So he lifted the covers of his sleeping bag and crawled inside, signalling that this conversation was over on his part._

_''You should confess to him. I mean, he's obviously not gonna do it, so you gotta take matters into your own hands, Haru-chan!''_

_Haruka sighed. ''Good night, Nagisa.''_

_''Ehh, but Haru-chan, you love Mako-chan, don't you? You have to fight for what you love! Haru-chan, fighto!''_

_''Good night, Nagisa!'' Haruka hissed and he pulled the duvet up to his chin, burying himself in it. He really hoped Nagisa would just take the hint and drop it already, but of course that was too much to ask._

_''You're no fun at all, Haru-chan!''_

''Haru? Haru, are you alright?''

When Haruka realised what was going on, he saw Makoto standing in front of him, a worried expression painting his face and his hands gripping his shoulders a bit too tightly.

''I... I just remembered something!''

''Really? Did you remember how we got here?'' Makoto asked, his tone laced with expectation.

''No, I don't remember that. But I remembered something else.''

Makoto's death grip weakened as he exhaled in both disappointment and relief. ''Then, what _did_ you remember?''

''We were at the beach with Rei, Nagisa, Kou, and Amakata-sensei. We had just finished eating pizza with everyone and we were going to go to sleep for the night. You said that you and me would be in a tent together, but Nagisa protested and said that he wanted to share a tent with me. Rei was offended, and you said we could use amida to decide who would share a tent with who. Nagisa got his way in the end, so I ended up with Nagisa and you with Rei. And-'' Haruka cut himself off, realising that he couldn't tell Makoto about everything he remembered without outing himself. ''And, that's all I remember.''

He saw how the look on Makoto's face changed as realisation dawned upon him. ''Ah, I remember it, as well!''

When Makoto noticed he was still holding on to Haruka, he quickly released him, a small blush creeping upon his face. If Haruka had noticed it, then he chose to ignore it.

''But,'' Makoto continued, ''if we went to sleep, then how did we get here?''

''I don't know,'' Haruka shrugged, but when he sensed the direction in which Makoto's thoughts were going he quickly added, ''Maybe we'll remember more if we keep playing the game.''

''Right,'' Makoto nodded, even if he didn't really seem to believe it. He walked back to the return unit and he lifted the blue ball. He sluggishly went back to the lane, where Haruka still stood, and he threw the ball, knocking over only four pins. Makoto just numbly stared at the fallen pins, watching as the bar knocked over the remaining six and the machine got ready for Haruka's turn.

Haruka saw how Makoto turned away from the lane almost dejectedly, his usually bright eyes now a dull green. It seemed like the regaining of that memory really got to him, a reminder of the situation they were thrown in. It had just been so easy for the both of them to push those thoughts to the back of their minds as they'd enjoyed their time together, but now it was back on full display before their eyes, and it wasn't something that could easily be ignored.

He followed as Makoto headed back to the bench, feeling the need to comfort and assure him.

''Makoto,'' he called, and when Makoto stopped and faced him, he gently put his hand on Makoto's forearm, caressing his skin softly with his fingers. ''It's okay. It's going to be alright.''

Makoto couldn't help but smile as Haruka's hand dropped and returned to his side, his skin still slightly tingling from the contact. He put his own hand over the place on his arm Haruka's fingertips were mere seconds ago, and he tilted his head to the side in that adorable habit of his.

''You're right, Haru. Thanks.''

Haruka could feel his own cheeks heating up at the familiar sight and he bit his lip, averting his gaze for a second before looking back up and nodding. Listening to his own words, he went back to the return unit, rolling the ball around until the right side was up. He was a little startled when he actually put his fingers in, though, as the pounding inside the ball was much faster than he'd anticipated. Makoto must still be feeling more overwhelmed than he thought.

He tried to not give it any more thought than that, and he decided to just continue with the game without further ado. He was more than ready to leave this place, and the sooner they finished the sooner they'd be able to go home. At least, he hoped so.

Lifting the ball with both of his hands, he threw it and blew over eight pins. He released a shaky breath as he straightened his back, going back to where Makoto was and giving him a small, hopefully reassuring, smile.

''Good job, Haru,'' Makoto praised, yet this time, there was no trace of tease in his voice, only pride.

''Thanks,'' he murmured in return, a hint of shyness in his tone.

''Well then,'' Makoto continued with his trademark smile, ''I suppose it's my turn again. We'd better wrap this up quickly so we can go back again soon, right?''

''Hmm.''

 

Soon enough they were down to their last turns. The game couldn't be over quickly enough yet it had gone by way too fast. They wanted to go home as soon as possible, but admittedly, they did have a good time here as the game had proven itself to be quite enjoyable. Whether it was the actual bowling or just the fact that they'd been playing it together wasn't clear, but honestly, it didn't matter either.

Makoto threw the blue ball for the last time and it collided with a pin, after which five others followed its way down. It wasn't the best he could've thrown, as Haruka still had a chance of winning, though it was a slim one, so it wasn't the worst turn either.

''Good luck,'' he said as he switched places with Haruka again, sincerely meaning it. He watched how his friend picked up the red ball for the final time, knowing that this turn would determine the outcome of the game.

Nine pins. If Haruka managed to knock over nine pins then he would win the game; if not, then Makoto would win. Eight pins and it'd be a tie. He was rooting for Haruka, because honestly, he didn't care about the outcome. Normally he could be very competitive, and he would always prefer to win, of course, but now he felt like it didn't matter. He had been allowed to play this game together with Haruka, and that was enough. It'd be selfish to ask for even more than that. So whatever happened now, Makoto was happy with it.

And that's when he heard a loud thud. He looked up and he saw that Haruka had dropped the ball, seeing it roll away from him.

''Haru?'' he exclaimed, ''Are you alright?''

He received no answer. Instead, Haruka fell to his knees.

''Haru!'' Makoto yelled as he got up and speeded over to his friend. ''Haru, are you okay?''

Haruka's mouth was hanging open and he was staring inanimately ahead of himself, frozen in what could only be shock.

''Haru?''

Finally Haruka looked up at him, his blue eyes blown wide and it almost seemed as if he was staring right through Makoto.

''Makoto,'' he spoke with quivering lips.

''What's wrong? Did you hurt yourself? Are you okay?'' Makoto asked rapidly, his concern for his best friend making him ramble.

''Makoto. We're dead.''

 

_Makoto was awoken by the howling of the wind, the waves crashing on the shore and the rain tapping against the surface of the tent. He opened his eyes and the first thing he noticed was that the futon next to his was empty and that the familiar pair of red-rimmed glasses were lying on top of the pillow. He leaned up on his arm, looking bewilderdly around himself in his hazy, sleep-induced state._

_''Huh? Rei?''_

_He got up and left the tent. The wind and the rain immediately attacked his body when he got outside and he lifted his left arm to shield his vision._

_''It's raining hard,'' he remarked, and he wanted to turn left when suddenly the lightning stroke and he could hear a voice, drowned out by the noises of the storm._

_The thunder rumbled as he saw a figure in the ocean, struggling against the wild water as it called for help. He recognised the familiar mop of cobalt hair, the voice that was begging for help, the body that was pointlessly trying to fight the violent waves. It was Rei._

_Without thinking Makoto sprinted towards the ocean, pulling off his shirt in the process._

_''Rei!''_

_He ran through the water until it got deep enough to swim in. Struggling against the water that was controlling the movements of his body. Big waves crashed down upon him as he got closer and closer to Rei._

_''He-''_

_''Rei!'' he yelled over and over again as he broke through the water, ''Rei!''_

_''Ma-''_

_Rei tried to call for Makoto, but the water kept washing over him every time he made an attempt to scream._

_Makoto watched how he gasped for air, wildly moving his limbs against the tide to keep his head above the water. All the memories of that day resurfaced - the goldfish, the rows of people clad in white, the storm, the ocean - as he saw how Rei was drowning._

_His whole body locked up in shock, his mind went blank as his biggest fear was played out before his eyes, and he completely froze because of how terrifying all of this was. His friend was being pulled under by the sea and he could only watch with wide-blown eyes as he, too, was starting to drown._

 

_''Rei!''_

_It was that scream by a voice he knew all too well that awoke Haruka. His eyes fluttered open and he felt the weight of Nagisa's body half draped over his own, the boy in question still softly snoring._

_He sat up, causing the still sleeping Nagisa to slide off his body, which woke him up as well. Haruka was peering intently at the entrance of the tent with knitted eyebrows when Nagisa sat up as well, his fist coming up to rub the sleep out of his eyes, and his blond hair was disheveled from sleeping in weird positions._

_''Haru-chan?''_

_''Did you hear that?'' Haruka asked, still not taking his eyes off the opening of the tent._

_''Hear what?''_

_''That voice.''_

_''Huh?''_

_Haruka got up and pushed the tent open with his arm, stepping out in the rain with his arm in front of his face._

_''Makoto?'' he called as he went over to the green tent, taking big, steady steps._

_The wind blew against the opening of the green tent, allowing Haruka to look inside a little. When he saw an empty futon, he crouched down and opened the tent further with his arms. Neither Makoto nor Rei were inside of it._

_''What's wrong?'' Nagisa questioned as he crouched down next to Haruka, still trying to rub the sleep away. ''Huh? They're gone.''_

_Haruka reached out and touched the futon. ''It's still warm,'' he remarked._

_Nagisa yawned. ''Did they go to the restroom?''_

_Haruka got back up, his right arm trying to keep the rain out of his face as he frantically looked around himself, searching for a trace of either boy. He turned towards the ocean, studying the water as the lightning flashed through the dark, clouded sky, lighting it up for less than a second._

_''What is it?'' Nagisa asked when he saw how fixated the other was on the restless sea._

_He didn't answer. His eyes narrowed in an attempt to see better, and they widened again when he recognised two silhouettes contrasting against the water._

_''Is that...'' Nagisa began, but before he had the opportunity to finish his sentence Haruka started to run towards the ferocious sea. ''Haru-chan!'' he called in alarm, but Haruka didn't stop running._

_Turning his head back towards Nagisa, Haruka yelled, ''Contact Amakata-sensei!'' and he ripped off his shirt as he entered the water, letting the wind carry it away from him._

_''Huh?! Wait!'' Nagisa yelped. After a moment of slight hesitation, Nagisa took off his shirt as well and followed Haruka into the dangerous water. ''Hold on, Haru-chan! It's not safe to go in alone!''_

_He carded through the fierce waves, sensing Nagisa's presence not far behind him. The longer he cut through the water, the closer he came and when he did, he noticed that one of the figures was wildly battling against the ocean, but the other was still._

_His blood ran cold as he forced himself to push harder, to swim faster but the storm made it impossible. He carved an opening in the water, but the tide washed it away before he could slide his body through it._

_Once he got close enough, his mind made the unconscious decision of going to Makoto's body. It wasn't so much the fact that Makoto's body was closer and unmoving, but more so that if he were to be brutally honest, he'd choose to save Makoto first any day. It's not that he didn't care about Rei, because he did, but he could never mean as much to Haruka as Makoto did._

_''Makoto!'' he exclaimed when he got close enough, and he hooked his arms underneath Makoto's, heaving him upwards so his head was out of the water. He mentally thanked the heavens when he heard Makoto gasp._

_''I'll get Rei-chan!'' Nagisa yelled._

_''Please!''_

_He vaguely heard Nagisa yell more, but he couldn't make out what he was saying. He wasn't paying attention to Nagisa any longer either way, he was too preoccupied with keeping Makoto's head above the surface, which proved itself to be quite a task. Makoto was heavy, his shoulders were broader than Haruka's and therefore it took him a lot of effort to keep the both of them upright. Luckily, Makoto was still coughing and panting, which meant he was still conscious, but at the same time it made it harder for Haruka to hold on. Especially since the vicious waves wouldn't stop assaulting them, trying to wash them away from one another._

_When a particularly big wave rushed towards them, Haruka only had about half a second to take a deep breath before it engulfed them. He took a big gulp of air when he resurfaced, but Makoto was choking; his eyes had been closed so he hadn't seen the wave coming._

_Then a smaller wave washed over them, and Makoto's coughing stopped entirely. If Haruka was panicked before then he was totally freaking out now. Makoto's body had become even heavier in his tired arms and Haruka knew he had lost consciousness. With all his might he tried to get them back to the shore, but the water wasn't about to let them go._

_His anxiety caused him to start hyperventilating, which only added to his struggle. The waves sloshed over them again, and he felt the salty water crawling up his nose and down his throat, making him erupt in a fit of coughs. His heart was pouding erratically in his chest and he kicked his legs as fast and as hard as he could, but the water was too strong._

_When another wave splashed over them, Makoto slid out of his grasp and his limp body was carried away from Haruka through the fierce sea. Haruka went after him as quickly as he could manage, but everything seemed to go in slow motion. He watched as Makoto's body was pulled under, slowly sinking into the endless blue._

_Haruka dove under and he opened his eyes, the salt in the ocean stinging as he tried to see where Makoto was. When he spotted him, he started to swim over as fast as he could, even if the water was trying to hold him back. As he got closer, he saw that Makoto's lips were turning blue and he gasped out of shock, forgetting where he was for a second and the water filled his lungs._

_Somewhere in his mind, an alarm went off, telling him that he needed oxygen immediately. But in his heart he knew that if he resurfaced right now, Makoto would drown._

_So he pushed forward, ignoring the signals of his body as he reached out to Makoto. Just a little more, he told himself, just a little further. But Makoto was sinking about as fast as he swum, so it did little to shorten the distance._

_At this point his survival instinct had kicked in, and everything went too fast for his mind to comprehend. Finally he was able to clasp his hand in Makoto's, holding it firmly as he had a million times before, but never had it mattered this much._

_Though he was so relieved to feel Makoto's palm in his, when he tried to pull him up, he found that he didn't have enough strength to do so. He was utterly exhausted, his brain had a serious shortage of oxygen and his body went heavy._

_The last thing he saw was Makoto's hand wrapped in his own before everything went black._

 

 

Makoto's legs gave out underneath him as the memory of the last minutes of their lives came back to him. His jaw had dropped in dismay and he was absolutely speechless. They both were.

''Haru...'' he said after a while, and when Haruka turned to him, tears welled up in his eyes. ''I'm sorry.''

Out of all the things he had expected Makoto to say, this wasn't it. Oddly enough, he wasn't really surprised.

''I'm sorry,'' Makoto repeated, ''I'm so sorry. It's my fault. It's all my fault. I'm sorry.''

He buried his face in his hands as he sobbed, repeating the apology again and again.

''I'm so sorry, Haru. It's my fault. I'm sorry.''

A lump formed in Haruka's throat as he watched Makoto cry, and he wrapped his hands around Makoto's wrist, trying to pull them away from his face.

''Makoto, it's not your fault. Please stop saying that. It's not your fault.''

When he successfully pried Makoto's hands away from his face, he was able to look at him properly. He saw so much pain in Makoto's watery, otherwise beautiful eyes.

''It's not your fault,'' he echoed in a smaller voice, trying to stop Makoto from blaming himself.

''But it is!'' Makoto insisted. ''I was the one who decided to hold a camp, and I chose to start the swim club. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't done that. And I shouldn't have gone out to try to save Rei by myself; I should've called for help. And now we're dead. Now _you're_ dead. And it's all my fault!''

Tears started to burn in Haruka's own eyes as he listened to Makoto's reasoning. He lifted his hands to Makoto's face and he cupped his cheeks, forcing him to meet his gaze.

''It's not your fault,'' he stated, feeling Makoto's warm tears rolling over his hands. ''I'm sorry I couldn't save you.''

''Haru...''

''I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough,'' he whispered as his own tears started to pour out. ''If only I had been stronger. If only I had been faster. If only I had tried harder; maybe then I could've saved you. Could've saved _us_. I'm sorry, Makoto.''

Makoto sniffled as Haruka stroked his cheeks with his thumbs, wiping away the teardrops that were streaming down his face.

''Don't say that, Haru! It's not your fault, it's mine! You shouldn't have had to save me in the first place. You shouldn't have had to risk your life because I was being stupid. But you did, and now you're dead, all thanks to my stupidity!'' he screamed, despair and guilt evident in his choked up voice.

Haruka was taken aback by Makoto's harsh tone. Never before had Makoto yelled like this, but then again, they had never died before either.

''How could I possibly forgive myself when I'm the one who's responsible for your death?''

Haruka's hands slid down Makoto's face. Makoto turned his head away and bit his lip, trying to stop his sobbing, but it was useless. Then, he felt arms wrapping around his neck and his face was pushed into a toned chest.

''Don't blame yourself,'' Haruka pleaded, his tears falling on top of Makoto's hair. ''Don't put yourself through this, please! I don't blame you.''

''H-Haru--''

''I forgive you,'' he murmured, knowing that that was what Makoto needed to hear. ''Can you forgive me, too? Can you forgive yourself?''

Makoto looked up, his eyes meeting Haruka's in a silent conversation.

''Oh Haru!'' he cried as he wrapped his arms around Haruka's waist and buried his face in Haruka's shoulder as he continued to sob. In return he felt Haruka burrowing his head in his hair, his warm tears dripping on his scalp. They held onto one another as they cried, grieving more for each other than for themselves.

Meanwhile, Decim and the black-haired woman watched as the scene unfolded before their eyes, one more shocked than the other. The woman was completely blown away by the behaviour of the two boys. In her time so far at Quindecim she thought she had seen it all: unresponsiveness, crying, screaming, violence, even people trying to murder each other. But never before had she seen their guests apologising to one another, crying into each other's arms. That was definitely a first.

Decim, however, seemed as expressionless as ever. Because he knew, she reasoned. He knew what had happened to them, and it made her wonder.

''Let me see them, too,'' she said. ''Their memories.''

Decim made a little noise of surprise and he looked at her, but she didn't meet his gaze. After a moment he turned back, and he spoke. ''I'll put in a request.''

He walked back towards the bar, but the woman stayed where she was, still supervising their crying guests.

After a while, he came back. ''They said it was no trouble. They should be coming shortly.''

The black-haired woman nodded. She closed her eyes and the memories of Makoto and Haruka shot through her head. Her expression changed from a serious, somewhat curious look to one of empathy, as she understood. And so she continued to watch, prepared to give them all the time they needed.

Makoto pulled back from their embrace, waiting until Haruka sat back on his legs as well. When he did, Makoto took both of his hands in his, his grip tight yet gentle.

''Haru,'' he began, ''there are a lot of things I regret about my life. Things I can never redo.'' He paused, gathering the strength to finish what he wanted to say. ''But the thing I regret the most, is that I was never able to tell you how much I love you.''

Haruka's red-rimmed eyes widened in perplexion. ''M-Makoto.''

Makoto continued, knowing that if he didn't say this right now, he'd never have the opportunity to anymore. ''I know you might not return my feelings, and I know this isn't the best moment ever, that it's already too late, but you deserve to know. You have to know. And I wish I'd have a second chance to do this all right, but I don't, so this is all I have to offer, but-''

He choked up, his tears and the lump in his throat preventing him from speaking further. Haruka wanted to interrupt, but something inside of him told him to let Makoto finish without any interference.

''I love you, Haru. I love you so much. I just- I need you to know that. I'm sorry,'' he ended, having said everything he needed to say, finally having this confession off his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut, silently awaiting the response he wasn't sure he was going to get.

Haruka let go of his hands, that had become wet with their combined tears. Makoto's heart sank in his chest, even though he had already been expecting this. He was disappointed, heart-broken even, but it wasn't as if he'd had anything to lose. He was already dead.

But he was utterly surprised when he felt Haruka's arms around his torso, Haruka's forehead against his collarbone and his tears sliding down his chest.

''Haru-''

''Don't apologise, you idiot,'' Haruka sniffed, ''I love you, too!''

He heard Makoto take in a sharp, shuddering breath, and he could almost feel the thumping of his heart.

''You- You do?'' Makoto stuttered.

He felt Haruka nod, the raven strands of his hair tickling against Makoto's neck and jaw. He felt like he was about to burst, he was experiencing too many contradicting emotions at once. He was so, _so_ happy, happier than he'd ever been, yet he had never felt as much pain as he was feeling right at that moment. Haruka loved him too; after years of pining after his best friend his feelings were finally returned, but it was already too late. And that fact saddened him to his very core.

It made him wonder; what if it hadn't been too late? What if he'd had the courage to confess his love before they'd passed away? Could they have been in a relationship? Could they have been happy together? Could they have grown old together?

He imagined the life they could've had together. What they could've had if this hadn't happened. What they could've had if they had the chance to do this all over again. What they could've had if they hadn't died. But he found that this only hurt more, as he knew that they would never have this. They would never share this happy, fulfilled life, since they had both drowned at the age of sixteen.

It was useless to dwell on what could have been; it was only pouring salt into the open wound of their tragic death. So instead of making himself even more miserable than he already was, he wrapped his arms around Haruka's shoulders, pushing him further into his chest, and he cupped the back of Haruka's head, tangling his fingers in the black locks. In response, Haruka tightened his grip on Makoto, still crying softly into his broad shoulder.

''I love you, Haru,'' Makoto repeated quietly, his voice broken as he sweetly caressed Haruka's back. He didn't receive a verbal response, Haruka's sobbing just continued, but Makoto understood him all the same. Even in death, their mutual understanding didn't fluctuate; it was solid and strong as ever.

Whether they cried for hours, days, years, they couldn't tell. Was the concept of time even a thing in the after-life? All they knew was that it felt like centuries had passed before they let each other go.

Haruka pulled back first, slowly releasing his grip on Makoto's upper body. Makoto followed his lead immediately, and he sat back up with a smile. Haruka didn't let go completely, though, as his hand slid down Makoto's arm and he intertwined their fingers. His face was red from crying so much, and Makoto lifted his hand to catch a drop that was threatening to fall from his cheek. He couldn't help but smile a little at the loving gesture.

''Are you okay?'' Makoto asked.

It was a weird question, to say the least. They had just found out that they had died before even turning seventeen, so it was a reasonable assumption that he was anything but okay. Yet oddly enough, Haruka felt like he really was okay. Makoto was by his side, and he felt like he could overcome anything with him here, even death.

So he nodded, before returning the question. ''Are you?''

''I am,'' Makoto assured, his words accompanied by his signature smile. As long as they were together, everything would be alright.

''But there's still something that isn't clear to me,'' he continued. ''If we're dead, then what are we doing here? Is this the after-life?''

''Please allow me to explain.''

Both Makoto and Haruka were startled when Decim suddenly spoke, standing next to them accompanied by the black-haired lady. They had both been so lost in each other that they'd forgotten that they weren't alone. They didn't let go of the other's hand as they looked up, waiting for Decim to continue.

''Following their deaths, people are sent either to the void or reincarnation. Quindecim exists for the purpose of that ruling. There is also the provision that only those pairs who die at the same moment are invited to come here. I am terribly sorry for not having told you earlier,'' Decim finished, bowing to them in apology.

''At the same moment...'' Makoto echoed, before he yelped, ''What about Rei?''

''And Nagisa?'' Haruka added.

''Did they make it? Or did they...'' Makoto didn't finish his sentence.

''I do not know that,'' Decim answered. ''I'm sorry.''

''But.. aren't you like, a God or something? Aren't you supposed to know that?''

''I am simply an arbiter.''

Makoto's shoulders slumped visibly, and any trace of happiness in his being faltered. Haruka noticed this immediately, and he spoke up.

''They're fine.''

''But how do you--''

''Nagisa said he would take care of it,'' Haruka stated, his tone full of confidence, even if he didn't completely believe his own words. He did want to believe that their friends were fine, that they were alive, but the storm had been tough. It had been strong enough to take down both Makoto and himself, two advanced swimmers, and while Nagisa was also advanced, his body was built differently. He was smaller, less muscular, which put him at a bigger risk of being swept away by the aggressive waves. Let's not even start about Rei, a novice swimmer with a different type of body all together. The chances that they both made it out alive was slim. Very slim.

However, he didn't have solid proof that they hadn't made it, so all he could do was speculate. Therefore he decided to have faith in Nagisa, as it was a much more pleasant thought that they had made it. It would make Makoto feel better as well; knowing that their sacrifice wasn't for nothing.

''Nagisa?''

''Hmm.''

Makoto released a breath, somewhat relieved about the fate of their friends, or at least, the idea he had of it. He really wanted to believe that they were both alright, so he decided to accept that as an answer.

''Okay. Alright,'' he muttered, more to himself than anyone else. He got up, stretched his back that had become stiff from sitting hunched over for a while, and he offered his hand to help Haruka up as well, paired with the smile that was reserved for him.

Haruka took the proffered hand and allowed Makoto to pull him up like he had countless times before, for the last time.

When they were both standing up straight, Decim spoke again.

''Well then, let's be off,'' he said, ''This way.''

He and the black-haired woman walked back to where they came from, past the bar and into the direction of the elevators.

Haruka and Makoto knew that they had to follow, that this was the end.

Makoto slid his palm into Haruka's again and he entwined their fingers. When Haruka looked up at him, he smiled. It wasn't a bright, joyous smile, but rather a peaceful one. So Haruka couldn't help but smile back a little, though not with his mouth as one normally would, but more with his eyes, in his own, special way.

They headed back to the elevators, their hands firmly clasped between them.

When they reached them, Decim and the black-haired woman were standing across from the elevators, ready to see Makoto and Haruka off. The doors of both elevators slid open once more, waiting to take the boys away from Quindecim.

Though he knew that they needed to leave now, Makoto felt like he just needed a little longer before he was capable of leaving this place, of leaving Haruka behind. Hesitantly, he turned back towards Decim.

''Can we have a moment, please? Just a couple of minutes is fine, so please!'' he asked, his tone making it obvious that he was pleading in desperation.

''As you wish,'' Decim nodded, and he and the woman took a step back to give them a little space.

Makoto turned back to Haruka, their hands still interlaced and Makoto used that to pull Haruka a little closer to himself.

''I just-'' he began. He lifted his free hand and ran his fingers through Haruka's hair, before gently cradling the side of his face, his large palm enveloping Haruka's cheek. ''I want you to remember that whatever happens after this, and no matter where we might go, I'll never stop loving you.''

Haruka's oceanic eyes were glazed with tears that were ready to spill over any second. Makoto continued.

''I'll always love you, no matter what! It's meaningless without you! Please, Haru, don't you ever forget that.'' When he finished, his own eyes were also burning with tears.

Instead of verbally responding, which seemed impossible right now, Haruka leaned upwards. Their lips met in a promise, a declaration of their mutual love, a vow of forever. Haruka's hands were pressed against Makoto's chest, feeling the irregular pounding of his heart vibrate through the layer of thick muscle. Makoto's right hand was still on Haruka's cheek, the other coming up to his neck, feeling his erratic pulse with his thumb. Tears fell again, sliding down both of their cheeks, leaving marks on their skin. It was funny, in a way; how they would share their first kiss only after they're deceased.

When they parted, Makoto rested their foreheads together, staring intently into Haruka's eyes, blue meeting green. He could read everything in those expressive, vibrant orbs, and he knew that Haruka was feeling the same as he was. He recalled something from the past, when he had been told that it was as if their hearts were connected. At the time he thought that was silly, but at this moment, he sincerely believed it.

After placing another chaste kiss on Haruka's lips, Makoto wrapped his arms around him, embracing him for the last time. Haruka snaked his arms around Makoto's waist, his hands pressing into his shoulder blades.

''I love you, Makoto,'' he murmured into his friend's broad chest.

''Hmm, I love you, Haru,'' Makoto whispered in return.

They then let go of each other, wiping at their tear-stained cheeks with the back of their hands. Shooting the other one last smile, that contrasted their red, watering eyes, saying their last farewells before they both entered their respective elevator.

''Goodbye, Haru-chan.''

''I told you,'' Haruka choked out, his voice thick with tears, ''to drop the –chan.''

''Right, I'm sorry,'' Makoto answered, sniffling before tilting his head to the side, his raw voice not sounding apologetic in the least.

''Goodbye, Makoto,'' Haruka uttered, trying very hard to suppress the tears that were continuing to leak out of his eyes.

They stepped inside the elevators, turning back to face the doors. They both let out a heavy, quivering sigh as the doors closed, and the last thing they saw before the doors closed was Decim and the woman, sending them off with a nod of their head.

The elevators left, both going up. The white masks above the entrance of elevators indicated that both of their souls were sent to reincarnation.

Although Makoto and Haruka were physically separated now, in their hearts they both knew that even death can't break the strongest of bonds.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please check out all of the other amazing fics that were written for the MakoHaru AU week, if you feel so inclined!
> 
> I'm sorry for the somewhat open ending on Nagisa and Rei's part, you can just imagine whether or not they actually survived.
> 
> For the people who haven't seen Death Parade, the reason the black-haired woman isn't named is because *spoiler alert* at this point in the Death Parade timeline, her name isn't revealed yet. Later in the anime, it's revealed that her name is actually Chiyuki. Before this, she is simply called ''the black-haired woman''. If there's anything else that isn't clear, feel free to ask. I'm sorry if that's the case.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at datheetjoella.tumblr.com


End file.
